Stepping away from paganism has shown me that I have a lot of residual anger and loss. I feel heartbroken that I have cut myself off cold turkey. (I did do a tiny rite to say goodbye but that’s it.) I don’t feel ready to go back to devotional worship though. Somehow, I feel like I got too wrapped up in devotion. It’s hard to explain. I wish I had a priest to talk to!
In the bare bones of it, I know I miss my sacred texts.
I do have a small stack of spiritual texts I ordered but haven’t read yet: Loki by Dagulf Loptson; Wolf Milk by Martin Shaw; Love and Rage by Lama Rod Owens; and the Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile. I am certainly not going to force myself to read these all at once.
Do I read them? Do I not? I’m not sure how to go about this. I think the easiest way to dip my toe in the water might be Casper ter Kuile’s book, since it’s a bit more focused on secularized practice. Or would it be better to go back to an older favoured sacred text? Hmm. I think I need comfort right now, so… hm.
Hm. I suppose having a multiplicity of spiritual texts to choose from is not a bad problem to have. Alternatively, I could choose a novel that is a comfort to me, such as Sabriel by Garth Nix, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and/or the Hobbit, This is How to Lose the Time War by Gladstone and el-Mohtar… that might be an easier way to go about it.
Books books books.
A Long Hall Bench 