Offerings used to make me sick. I overdid them–offered in excess and too often.
Now I am unsure if I want to make them anymore. I think I might stop for a good long while and see what my practice consists of. I want to look clearly at my practice and that means taking a break from offering anything.
The feeling of obligation to do them makes me suspicious.
My friend J tells me he makes food offerings 1-2 times a year. I can’t remember how often he makes drink offerings. So I am thinking, if I feel moved to make an offering, I can, but exploring J’s infrequency of offerings seems useful.
I am also thinking of having a personal taboo of offering turkey–not that I ever offer meat anyway. Turkey is an offering I gave as a baby-pagan on Thanksgiving one time, and really overdid it by trying to offer to every single fucking god I had a dream about or even the slightest hint of interest. It was a very painful experience. I think I ought to share that memory with a friend, and say it out loud, just to… confirm and validate that it happened in sickness.
I’ve been sick for the majority of my practice. I am very curious as to what it will look like as I gain greater and greater health.