Hard Lessons: A Visitation from Lord Apollo

Lately, when I just sit on the bus or take a walk with no podcast on, I will sometimes get a visit from a deity. So here are some words of wisdom from Lord Apollo:

First off, he remarked that I seem to have a -2 inspiration on reading Plato’s Republic. He cautioned me about basing my faith entirely on books. He suggested watching a video instead.

He also encouraged me to check out some Italian paintings of the Hellenic gods.

Then some advice:

“Come to see Us when you feel joy.”

This is because sometimes I feel obligated to pray, even when I am grouchy. So I have to unlearn this idea and just go visit them when I feel chill and happy. I think I still get stuck on the idea that one should always do ones devotions but honestly, that just doesn’t work for me as a person with illness and disability.

Lord Apollo noted that our mutual or intersecting interest is a friendship with Socrates. I am considering printing a picture of him to put on my altar.

Now, his last remark, which is the whole point of this post:

“Living our values is enough! This is a revelation for you!”

So, over the years, I had deeply misperceived advice on offerings. I gave way way too much to the point where it harmed me very deeply. Like “go to the hospital” deeply. My religious delusions really hurt me because I wasn’t confiding in local pagans or asking for help. I can admit that now. Honestly, I don’t think this was an issue of pride. I was/am mostly just a really shy person!

I talked out my issues with a spiritual therapist and a local pagan friend which really helped my discernment a lot. I’m way healthier now.

So, this year, I was trying to keep up a regular ritual practice every weekend with each of my four faiths. I found this very draining and unworkable. Additionally, I felt I was being taken away from my priesthood when what I really wanted was to feel grounded in heathenry as clergy.

Lord Apollo’s remark that this is a revelation to me is important because this lesson has been and is so so tough for me to learn. This may not be a revelation for others but it is for me. ❤

Regarding his assurance on living Hellenic values, I’m mostly focusing on hospitality for now. A prime example: I bought a friend a gluten-free snack today then realized she wasn’t able to attend our D&D group’s board games night. Ah well, next week.

I’ve also ordered a book “Teach Like Socrates” to learn some new teaching methods (I’m listing the bill as a work expense for my taxes muahahah). I’m rereading Jo Walton’s The Just City to compare what I know now about Plato to what I knew before.

All in all, it was a very kindly visit from Lord Apollo. Seriously, deities are infinitely more chill than my mental illnesses made them out to be. I’m very grateful to know the truth now.

Thanks for the excellent advice and useful revelations! Hail Lord Apollo, Lord of Oracles!

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