I’ve made my blog private for myself and whomever I would like to read it.
For me, this year, the new year started at Samhain.
I drowned myself in work and barely noticed the change. I was, I think, trying not to notice my the first anniversary of my Nana’s passing too much. I miss her a lot. I know she’s well though and I get the sense that she protects me. I still try to worship my ancestors regularly although I often get mixed up with a busy schedule.
This week, after much argument with my spirit allies, I’ve started getting up at 5 am. Originally the plan was to make time for worship. But then, I was realizing how many art projects I have half finished. Too many, of course, as I am an Aries with the usual Ariean trend of starting things easily but not completing them.
I told the spirits that I can’t deal anymore: it’s either art or worship. Worship takes away too much of my time and I had had barely enough time for art. I was quite upset about it. Sri Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles, reached out and sat his statue on my desk. He assured me that I could focus on my art and that I would find a way to worship within that. I’m excited.
This week I have managed to: rewrite my author bios, begin recording my rune musings all in one journal, and drew some delightful drawings of Lady Guinevere and I. It’s always so nice to draw my spirit partner. It’s a great way to connect and have a bit of humour.
She noted I was quite anxious yesterday. I had a fight with her on Thursday and I seemed to be having an anxious aftermath so she made a point to tell me a few gentle reassurances. It was very sweet of her.
My students graduated on Friday. I had to fail one student who had excessively low speaking skills. I’m relieved she failed without me having to tinker with her participation or conversation marks. (Yes, teachers do this sometimes. Yes, I am sure this power is abused often.)
This week, I started working on what the spirits gently dubbed my “magnum opus”: a rune zine. In art class, I made a short comic about Lord Odin. The spirits are really encouraging me to get my act together so I can focus on Norse worship, ritual, runes, and learning.
I’ve been lax about it, mostly due to overwork, burnout, and a poor sleep schedule.
After their group presentations, I tried to teach the teens how to read tarot. They were not down to offer me suggestions so I just scribbled down some basics on the board and let them play while I finished grading.
Obviously, this was not my favourite way to teach tarot but there has been more than one occasion where I offer the students tarot so I can finish marking.
I miss having a regular tarot practice for myself. Lady Gwen was suggesting planning monthly moon readings. And I would love to get back in the rhythm of monthly (or at least, regular) rune readings.
I find divination to be a beautiful method to check in with oneself. While this past year has certainly been healing and transformative, I still find myself aching for more:
I want my teaching methods to be more Socratic; I want more privacy for my artistic practice to flourish; I want to rest more. And yet. Still.
Balance can be achieved.